Actor and writer, Jennette McCurdy, has opened up about feeling 'so much shame' about her involvement in Nickelodeon shows iCarly and Sam and Cat.
McCurdy starred alongside Miranda Cosgrove and Nathan Kress in iCarly, which ran from 2007 until 2012.
She then reprised her character, Sam, in Sam and Cat, which also starred Ariana Grande.
Her involvement in the Nickelodeon shows made McCurdy recognizable to a lot of fans across the globe, but looking back now, the actor made it clear she regrets her time spent in the roles.
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In the first episode of her podcast Hard Feelings, McCurdy expressed her desire to distance herself from her earlier roles, saying: "One of the things that's really important to me in press, if possible, is that 'iCarly' or 'Sam & Cat' are not mentioned."
"These show titles, my ears burn when I'm saying them," she continued. "I have so much shame around having been a part of them. And anybody who has read my book I know understands."
Pointing out that it's now been nearly a decade since she last played Sam on screen, McCurdy said it's frustrating to continue to be associated with the character.
"To have been known for so long for something that I did when I was 13 was very shameful for me," she said.
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"My body tightens just saying [the titles of the shows]," McCurdy said.
The writer did openly discuss her time on the children's shows in her 2022 book, I'm Glad My Mom Died, and she noted on her podcast that the success of the memoir helped her to momentarily cover up the shame she felt.
"It's so meaningful to me in such a deep way because I felt like finally, I don't have to carry that shame of my past," McCurdy said.
"Finally, I can be known for something that I do as an adult. Finally, I can be known for writing, the thing that I'd wanted to do since I was a child and was not supported in wanting to do.
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"Finally, I can be supported for me, not for a character. And it kind of washed away that shame, for me."
McCurdy realized the book had not resolved all of her shameful feelings when she did a college tour at the University of California in San Diego and was heckled with a reference to her iCarly character.
"I thought the success of the book would be enough," McCurdy said. "When is it gonna be enough for them to forget Sam? When is it gonna be enough for them to stop associating me with the f**king shows I did when I was 13?"
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After speaking with a therapist, McCurdy realized she felt 'unseen' as herself as her character got more popular.
The writer is now determined to do whatever it takes to prevent herself from being affected by references to her past jobs.
"I want to be past this," she said.
Topics: Celebrity, Film and TV, Books, Entertainment